I am very tired.

Have you ever been in a “God I have no idea what you are doing right now” season? Yeah, me too. I feel like each season has its own set of question marks where it really does not make sense, but we are all just cruising along. 

I have had a heavy set of “God I have no idea what you are doing” moments in 2020. I think we all have, honestly. For a while it was very difficult for me to come to terms that I would not know the whole story right away. Some days it is easy to overlook the fact that 90% of the questions you have do not have answers, but it gets hard when the questions being asked affect your day-to-day life. 

I have felt a plethora of emotions this year, but there is one distinct feeling that helped me move on from the disappointment of my seemingly unanswered questions. This feeling is tired. This sense of tiredness is not the normal, sleepy tired. I was tired of wondering, asking, and feeling discouraged. 

When I hit that moment I decided I had to stop asking and just start living. A lot of us put our improvement on pause because we want God to answer all of these questions. We become sedentary, because we think waiting means we are in one place. That could not be further from the truth. 

When we are waiting on God, we should not slow down our day-to-day. There is a time to slow down and seek the Lord, but there is equally time to diligently give your all in your everyday life. Contrary to popular belief, there is enough time to do both. 

God showed me that one day during a college chapel. We were all worshipping and praying, and I was just going about what we were doing during that time. I did not ask any questions. I was not bombarding the Lord with my lament. I was simply praying with others, and worshipping the Lord. As I walked around and took the moment in, I distinctly felt the Lord whisper to my heart “This is what obedience looks like. Keep giving your all.” At that moment I realized that me giving my all in the season I was in was all that was being asked of me. 

Figuring out all of the answers was not what was being asked of me. Healing my own heart was not what was being asked of me. Making my own path was not what was being asked of me. I was simply to give my all. I have been so encouraged by that moment ever since. 

There are two pieces of advice I would give to you today. Get tired of your state of being, and realize all that is being asked of you is to do your very best with what you have. 

  1. Get tired

When you are tired you are looking for any way to find rest. Think of it realistically. When you are tired enough, you ignore the dishes for the night and go lay down. When you are tired enough you rework your schedule to meet your needs. When you are tired enough you save the pity party for later, and do only what you need to do. When it comes to your constant questions, and lack of answers, get tired. Get too tired to ask, and decide to live. Decide to sleep. Decide to take that needed step of faith. Decide to be diligent where you need to be. Do not let your unanswered questions continue to rob you of your rest. There are times to passionately seek the Lord with every fervent prayer in your body, but there are also moments where you let the Lord provide you with the peace you need in your time of waiting. When you are tired of your exasperated expectations not being met, you start to find joy in the answers you DO HAVE. 

  1. Do your very best with what you have. 

Not everything has to be ostentatious and over-the-top. All it takes is showing up, doing your best, and calling it a day. You have already done two of the hardest tasks to humanity when you decide to show up and try. You have 24 hours in the day, and 7 days within your week. Use your time wisely, and keep on going. If God hasn’t given you “the next step” that means your next step is to continue growing in the place you are already in. Work had, and work well. Then, know in your heart you have done all you can do. 

It is extremely important for us to stop putting unnecessary expectations on ourselves. There is a difference between going above and beyond, and working yourself to the bone. The issue is that the difference is a very fine line. Take a step back and align your priorities. When you find that place of “this is where I get a little crazy and do too much” you decide to draw your line there. That is not the bare minimum, but as I would like to call it, the sane minimum. This is the amount of diligence and grit that pushes you, but doesn’t push you over board. It’s learning how to maturely “call it a night”. 

We have all been tired in a weary way for way too long. It is now time to be tired in a “take action” way. It doesn’t matter what you are asking for. It doesn’t matter what you are waiting on. LIVE YOUR LIFE. God will soon show you what you are looking for, but it is time to stop searching. When you stop putting your heart and soul into your unanswered questions, and start cultivating the answers you already have, you are going to experience an immense amount of growth. Open your eyes to what you can do to live diligently today, and answers will come. It truly is time to get tired. 

Published by Kendall Thomas

I am a Tennessee girl who wound up in Missouri. I love the Lord and being real about everyday life things. I never miss a chance to make someone laugh, and say "Go Vols!" I talk and type a little too much, but I enjoy every second of it. I also thought starting every sentence with "I" was a great literary choice. Enjoy.

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