I am a young newly wed, who has only been out of college for about 2 years. I am by no means a pro, but let me tell you I have learned a great deal in the past 4 years about myself, relationships, and just being my own person in general. Each season has its own intricate moments to cherish. We have so much to learn from each pivotal moment in our life, and when we start taking things for granted we miss out on details of our story. I want to talk today about the pivotal moments of two specific seasons, and how your own journey is just as important as your title during it!
1. Falling in love with yourself while single is the what’s going to help you when you’re in a relationship.
That’s something you hear all the time, but let me tell you the hard truth. Finding validity in someone else is exhausting. Learning your worth is what helps you in your singleness. When we don’t find joy and comfort in our individuality we let in harmful people just to become a something. A lot of the times we aren’t even dating this person, and we get stuck in stages that make us wonder if we are even worth the commitment. News flash: You are worth the commitment, but to the RIGHT PERSON.
When you’re single you know you’re your own individual. It’s very easy to lose that in a relationship or even a situationship. Get grounded in who you are. Enjoy spending time with yourself, because you’re good company to keep. See yourself correctly, because there will be a time when others don’t. We are not disposable people to hold spots for other people. You’re no paper weight, boo. When you know who you are and what you deserve you are stricter on who you let speak over you. Be genuine in how you treat yourself and your life solo. It’s important for you, and you’re worth every second you spend learning to cherish the wonderful creation you are.
2. You are still just as important in your own individuality as you are in a relationship.
A lot of people who are dating, engaged, and married lose themselves in the other person. You look for validation strictly from your person, and your joy lies in them. This is dangerous for your heart and mental health. We are not always consistent. Bad days happen, and we let each other down. Your significant other should not be your source of joy. They should contribute to it, but they should not be the source. Why? Because they are not the joy giver. They are merely one of the catalyst your heavenly father uses to continue stirring the joy pot in your life. Don’t get your gift confused with the gift giver. You take yourself down a harmful hole when you do.
Not to mention, life engulfed in someone else is boring. You need to do things that fuel your soul, and fulfill your needs. That is how you love your significant other properly. You work on being a healthy version of you. The healthy version of you has their own hobbies. They have friends outside of their relationship. They have dreams that aren’t just for your relationship or romantic future. Bringing individuality into your relationship is what makes it so beautiful. You bring your own sparkle to the situation. Don’t lose yourself loving someone else.
The reason I believe living as our own person is so important is because we miss out on our life when we try to love or be someone else. You are magnificent just as you are. God didn’t create you, and want you to change yourself. He wants your change to be through his renewing power, and Godly transformation. You don’t find that in a relationship with someone else. You don’t find that in pining after being like everyone else. You find that in YOU seeing yourself through God’s creative vision. You love the God-given talents you have, and you pour into them. You let yourself be loved for simply being you and not what you can do. You are independent in the world and dependent on the Father. That’s the individuality that strengthens you when you’re riding solo, and when you’re growing the gift of a relationship.
We are meant to be our own person. Let’s cherish every moment knowing God wanted us to bring our own uniqueness to the table.